When Parents Disagree and What You Can Do About It

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Method 2. Be respectful and assertive. Focus on being respectful and polite, rather than angry and frustrated. As an adult, you have more rights to assert yourself. Say what you need to say, just be careful and thoughtful in how you do that. When your parents say something that you disagree with, avoid being passive or aggressive in your approach.

Show your parents that you have a difference of opinion in a direct and concise way. But I have learned another approach, and would like to try that instead. Avoid depending on your parents as an adult. As an adult, independence allows you to make your own decisions, express your own opinions, and establish yourself. Independence also gives you greater freedom to disagree when you have arguments about money and career choices. Make small but clear steps towards self-sufficiency.

That way, when you are arguing with them about life choices such as becoming an artist rather than an accountant, you'll have proof of your efforts towards independence.

1. Practice true listening and compromise.

Use social and financial support from your parents for important turning points in your early adult life like college, but avoid depending on them each month to help you with your bills. The more they control your expenses, the easier it is for them to make arguments against your life choices.


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Step away from arguments that go nowhere. Your parents may have particular views about child-rearing or relationships.

When Parents Disagree About How to Enforce the Rules - Parent Cue

They may make this a point of conversation that ultimately leads to arguments. Try being the bigger person on hot-button issues like relationships and family roles. Respectfully move on from the argument that seems to go nowhere. Set boundaries about when they can step in and get involved, and when it's not okay. If they are trying to press you about how to discipline a child, remind them that you are an adult and have a right to choose how to discipline your own child. Please respect that I am an adult and a caring parent for my kid.

When Parents Disagree and What You Can Do About It

Establish boundaries when they disagree with who you're dating. In addition to arguments over finances, career choices, and parenting, a common source of contention may be about your romantic relationships and dating. While it's important to be respectful of their input, make it clear your life and your relationships are yours, not theirs. Parents often want to give advice to prevent the same mistakes that they may have made.


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Hear them out, but make it clear that ultimately your romantic decisions are your own. What is surprising is that young Americans anticipate being financially independent several years earlier than their parents expect them to.

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Young Americans say they'll be financially independent by age Meanwhile, their parents don't expect to cut the purse strings until their children are That's according to a recent survey from TD Ameritrade that looked at what young Americans ages 15 to 28 and parents ages 30 to 60 see for their financial futures.

The results also pointed to the ages — on average — at which young adults expect to reach key financial milestones. The first among them, it turns out, is paying for your own streaming service. Young adults expect to be able to do that by age By 23, they should be able pay for their own health insurance, start saving for retirement and invest in the stock market. And 25 is the ideal age for getting married and starting a family, the young people surveyed said. Admittedly, those targets might be a bit optimistic for young adults who face a high cost of living and soaring student loan balances, especially since 1 in 5 younger millennials surveyed said they can't afford to save money.

Still, more than half of young Americans said they expect to be more financially successful than their parents. More from Personal Finance: The age it becomes embarrassing to live with your parents 10 remote jobs for professionals with associate's degrees Best way to save for retirement may include this underused plan.

Another point that parents and young adults disagreed on: the age at which it becomes embarrassing to still rely on parents' financial support. Parents said it would be uncomfortable to support their children financially past age Younger millennials, on the other hand, said it's not embarrassing to rely on their parents' money up until age The online survey was conducted by the Harris Poll between February and March.

How to Find Harmony When Parents Disagree

It included 3, adults and teens ages 15 and up. Gen Z included respondents ages 15 to 21; younger millennials included those ages 22 to Sign up for free newsletters and get more CNBC delivered to your inbox. Get this delivered to your inbox, and more info about our products and services. Privacy Policy.

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